100% Thankful, and Definitely Not Dead

Buckle your seatbelts, snuggle up, and settle in for a long one, folks... it's been a while.

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving, Wonderers!  Okay... so I haven't updated since March.  Fine... no big deal... I'm just an awful blogger.  But I am most definitely alive, and not at all dead. 

Perhaps it's because my life exploded in so many ways.  Seriously.  I no longer know which way is up with my life.  I am perpetually exhausted and so tightly scheduled that I needed to buy myself a planner to function as my brain.  There are so many different things going on... both good and bad.  Let's just preface with a little bit of bad so I can get to the good stuff.

Let's start here:  my grandmother died in March.  Not my favorite grandmother (thank goodness), but still, she was my grandmother.  I feel awful for my dad, especially since my evil uncle (seriously, think Hamlet... or The Lion King for you Shakespeare-resistant folk) has decided to sue my family over the estate, which isn't worth as much as the lawsuit itself.  For no reason other than he's an evil SOB.  My mother likes to refer to him as Voldemort, or "He-who-must-not-be-named."  So there's a lot of drama in my house right now.  I hope that is a good enough explanation for why I have not blogged since then.

ANYWAY!  Time for the good stuff!  Drama aside, life is pretty grand.  Yes, I still live in my parents' house... BUT I have two jobs, and I am slowly but surely saving money so that eventually I can FINALLY get out. I am beginning to pick up some of my more expensive... expenses... and soon enough, I may actually be on my own!  Also, I have a tooth again!  A real (fake), un-removable tooth in the front of my face, so I no longer look like Ed Helms in The Hangover.  There was one really horrifying moment when I had a slight case of road rage and I *may* have yelled my flipper out of my mouth (yeah, like a cartoon), so I'm glad to have a tooth that can no longer participate in unauthorized activities like that one.

Things with Boyfriend are good... I may even start referring to him as "F.A.B." as his boss does on her blog.  He switched jobs and now works for the coolest, nicest actress I know.  I get to hang out with one of my favorite 90s icons (who shall remain nameless) every now and again, and she has been more than generous to FAB and I.  She has already treated us to an expensive dinner at The Bazaar (Chef José Andres' shmancy restaurant at the SLS hotel), and I frequently get a lot of swag she doesn't want.  Speaking of FAB, we have officially been together for a little over a year!  I'll have to do a belated anniversary post, because it was pretty romantic and spectacular.  We went to a wedding in his hometown in Missouri this summer, and I met his parents, his sisters, and their respective families.  I also met Grandma.  A positively lovely group of people.  Love 'em all.  In fact, I'm coming home with him for Christmas this year!  This California girl is about to experience a real white Christmas.  I will probably freeze my face off, but my days will be merry and bright, just like Bing Crosby said.

In other news, I have decided on a career path that I am also slowly working my way toward.  Allison Wonderland is about to become MISS Allison Wonderland... that's right... I'm gonna be a teacher!  I already have plans to decorate my future classroom with an Un-Birthday board, Catapillar's smokey word-of-the-day, and you can bet your butts I will throw my kiddos an end-of-the-year Mad Tea Party.  I may even have a class Doormouse that my kids can take home and journalize about.  Am I the only one who remembers doing this in elementary school?  Take home the class pet for a week (or weekend) and journal about your experiences together?  Usually a stuffed animal or something easy to take care of so you learn about responsibility and improve your writing skills?  Whatever, I'm doing it anyway.

I am currently gathering all my prerequisites and preparing to take a whole bunch of standardized tests.  Turns out tutoring was a really great way for me to discover my second (or third) biggest passion in life... teaching small children.  Specifically not teenagers.  I am currently tutoring three teenagers, and I have come to realize that they are the the spawn of Satan.  Maybe it's just these three, but they are a great reminder of why I would rather teach elementary school.  Just yesterday, one of them (who is now being home schooled after a passive aggressive tantrum in which she failed all her classes and started skipping school in order to get what she wanted... just like her brother did a few months before) asked me if China is a country.  This is a far less rewarding job than when I tutored a friend's seven-year-old in Math... which is now his favorite subject.  Boom.

I love kids.  I really do.  Also I'm good at school... so it seemed like a natural road to take, even if it took me 26 years to discover it.  I'm highly interested in the Teach for America program, and also applying to CSUN if that doesn't work out.  Cross ALL the fingers!

I THINK that'll do it for now.  When I get some extra time, maybe I'll go back to posting more regularly... my Eat Me pile is growing ever larger, and I have a few other big events to blog about, so here's to getting that done.  At least I'll have something to do on my plane ride to the Midwest next month, but until then, eat yourselves into a tryptophan-induced food coma, and have a happy Turkey Day!!!