What happens when you re-watch a favorite movie from your childhood

Brace yourselves.  Long rant coming up.

I would like to preface this post by saying that re-watching movies over and over is something I have done my whole life.  I have an obnoxious collection of DVDs.  I love the overwhelming nostalgia that washes over me when I watch a beloved movie from my early years.

However.

Now that I am an adult, I realize that some of those cliches are true.  I do side with the parents over the children.  I do call out the ridiculous nature of less-than-realistic occurrences for the sake of entertainment.  And sometimes... I get angry.

An example: I get angry at Val (the son) in the Birdcage when he asks his father to hide his homosexuality in order to impress his conservative future father-in-law.  Oh yeah, and he's 20 and he wants to marry an 18-year-old.  Because that's appropriate.

I was watching Mrs. Doubtfire, another favorite in my collection of movies staring the late, great Robin Williams.  And I got angry.  Really angry.  At Sally Field.

I realize that she is supposed to be the villain in the movie.  We're not supposed to sympathize with her.  I'm not even sure we're supposed to like her.  But only as an adult (and perhaps through the lens of a teacher) do I realize how truly horrible her character is.  Let's jump down that rabbit hole and examine the evidence.

Our introduction to Miranda Hillard shows her walking into her house with a birthday cake for her son, and discovering that her husband, the actor (a profession the movie implies is less-than) has thrown their now 12-year-old son a sweet party, complete with pumping music and a petting zoo.

Granted, after a day at work - especially a soul-sucking corporate one like Miranda's, - the last thing I would want to come home to is a loud party.  But as a parent, I might consider holding in my disappointment until the guests have left, lest I ruin my little boy's day.  But this isn't what she does.  Instead, she throws a tantrum, and cuts the party short.

Later that evening, she and her husband are cleaning up after the party and she continues to gripe about how she's tired of cleaning up, and she's tired of being the disciplinarian parent, and basically continuing to tantrum about how her soul-sucking corporate life sucks and she doesn't get to have any fun.  All of which, she blames on her husband, who (perhaps a bit too enthusiastically) was only trying to treat his son to a great birthday surprise.  And oh by the way, all three kids are not-so-secretly listening to their parents have this argument from the staircase.

And then she drops the D-bomb.  In a yelling, screaming fit, she exclaims that after 14 years of being the un-fun one, "it's over."  She wants a divorce.  Again, I remind you, the kids are listening to this conversation.  And in case you forgot, it's still her son's birthday.  That's right.  Mom just said she wants to divorce Dad, on her son's birthday.  And he heard the whole thing.

Throughout the rest of the movie, her motives change.  No longer is she just angry at her ex-husband, but she has seemingly come to the conclusion that he is also an unfit father, and fights for SOLE CUSTODY.  When she comes to pick them up from his new apartment (an hour early, after dropping them off an hour late), she insults his dwelling, his choice of dinner, and his use of language around their children.  She calls them "her" children, as though they don't belong to him anymore.  And again, all of this lashing out happens in front of their children.  She also starts dating one of her clients almost immediately after she's asked for a divorce which is both unprofessional and a little questionable when you consider how quickly that relationship progresses.

I can tell you from personal experience that hearing your parents regularly fighting as a child is pretty damaging to your psyche when you reach adulthood.  While my parents never actually got divorced, it was a frequently dangled threat.  And when other parents would get divorced, I used to hear my mother repeat one critical piece of advice.  "Leave the kids out of it."

I'm not going to sit her and pretend that cross-dressing and posing as a nanny to spend time with your children is a viable, or even sane idea.  But I understand that act of insanity more than I understand trying to take your children away from their father because you were tired of being the bad guy.  I have news for you... you are still the bad guy.  You are the worst guy.

So in conclusion, both parents are wrong in this movie.  Miranda Hillard has some seriously confused anger and makes her ex's punishment far more extreme than his crime.  Daniel Hillard is borderline insane for using his acting skills and his brother's talent in the field of make-up to secretly spend more time with his children.  But at least I really believe him when he tells the social worker that he needs his children.  He doesn't dress up for malicious or retributive reasons.  He does it because he is a loving father who can't live without his children.  Miranda Hillard is rarely seen showing even the slightest affection for her children.  She is a controlling, corporate drone who cares only about appearances and status.  If you ask me, perhaps she is the unfit parent in this scenario.

But I still love this movie.  I still love Sally Field.  I still love Robin Williams.  I still love Pierce Brosnan.  And I won't stop watching just because it makes me angry.  Mrs. Doubtfire is a piece of my childhood, and I will cherish it forever.