Let me preface this by telling you that on Friday, while I was on my way off to San Diego for the weekend for my friend Brittany's birthday and a show, I was told about a potential job in LA. I believe I have made it somewhat clear that LA is not where I want to be right now, but I made the phone call anyway. I spent an absolutely FABULOUS weekend in San Diego (By the way, if you're reading this and you're in San Diego, there is a second performance next Monday. You can find out more about it here. Actually, check them out anyway, 'cause they're friends of mine and they're really awesome dudes.) ANYWAY! On the day I drove back home, I got a phone call from the guy about the LA job, and THAT is where this ridiculousness began.
I was asked if I could meet with him for coffee at 8:30 this morning. That's a little early for me. Especially since I've been sleeping in everyday (among the very few perks of unemployment). But, I got up, got ready, and after getting lost among the million locations, arrived at the designated Starbucks. After a very comfortable, casual interview, he asked if I could start immediately, as a Post-Production Assistant on a movie (which has some of my favorite actors in it, by the way, but my lips are sealed as to who). I drove over to the studio (and had a few issues at the security gate), made my way to their office, and filled out a stack of paperwork. Then I found out that I get a BADGE (with my picture on it and everything! I feel so official) with all kinds of access, AND my own parking spot. Getting to the spot on foot, you should know, requires crossing a very steep hill horizontally. It's more difficult than it may sound. And probably amusing to watch a girl in heels attempt it.
More cool stuff? I have my own desk, and a key! I am also, the only girl in a group of guys. They asked if I had any problems with language, and since I have a mouth like a sailor and I speak fluent sarcasm, I explained that there would not be an issue.
Among my duties is ordering and picking up lunch for everybody. Here's where things get really crazy. On my way to the little cafe, I was singing along to some of my favorite "Glee" tracks, because my I believe that my iPod houses a very insightful magic elf that chooses songs timed perfectly in accordance with the events of my life. And when I walked into the cafe, who should be seated at a table by the door but MATTHEW FUCKING MORRISON!!! Oh my god. This experience far trumps any Gleekout I've ever had. I was professional, and didn't approach him, but rather reveled in his presence and allowed him to enjoy his lunch, free of interruption. Of the few words I heard him say, he sounded very polite. Yay!
After I returned, I had a small panic attack when I discovered that my fancy new badge had seemingly evaporated! I managed to obtain a second badge (feeling like a full fledged idiot for having lost it on my first day) and kept close tabs on it for the remainder of the day. It wasn't until much later that I found it face down, on the ground, next to my car, not very evaporated at all.
I did do a lot of driving today, but some of that driving was in a GOLF CART, by myself. I have never driven a golf cart before today, and with all the hills I had to drive on I seemed to be facing impending doom. I was quite literally chanting to myself the alternating mantras "Please make it up the hill" and "I'm gonna die" going uphill and down hill, respectively.
Among other cool things about the place I work are the movie posters decorating the hallways, and the sign on the mirror in the women's restroom that reads "YOU ARE NEITHER AS SHORT OR AS WIDE AS YOU APPEAR IN THIS EVIL MIRROR."
So while I am excited about this super nifty opportunity (and the residual high from seeing Matthew Morrison in person, just a few feet from me) I am feeling a little bit like this kid, when it comes to my efforts to go back to San Diego:
And last but not least -- if you've managed to stick it out this long -- I have provided a treat. When searching Google images for the image you see above, typing in "kid on a leash" also resulted in this gem:
...and as ugly as that little guy is, it's hard not to find him irresistible.
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